Computer Jokes Humor and Satire

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2008
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  - You Know Your Adicted To The Internet When
    01/31/08
    • Your favorites takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
    
    • You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
    
    • All of your friends have an @ in their names.
    
    • You've already visited all
  - Choose Your Punishment
    01/30/08
    Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a comp
  - If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer
    01/29/08
    What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help you resolve your computer problems.
    
    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abor
  - Night Before Crisis
    01/29/08
    Twas the night before crisis,
    And all through the house,
    Not a program was working,
    Not even a browse.
    
    Programmers were wrung out,
    Too mindless to care,
    Knowing chances of cutover
    Hadn't a prayer.
    
    The users were nestled
    All snug in their
  - Software Development
    01/29/08
    1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
    
    2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
    
    3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
    
    4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn
  - Brake Trouble
    01/26/08
    A programmer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a h
  - Signs That Your Co-worker Is A Computer Hacker
    01/26/08
    You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.
    
    He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
    
    When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."
    
    When asked for his phone number, he gives
  - Saving Money
    01/25/08
    Three programers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
    
    "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
  - An artist, a lawyer, and a computer programer
    01/24/08
    An artist, a lawyer, and a computer programer are discussing the merits of a mistress.
    
    The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.
    
    The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too m
  - Is Windows a virus
    01/24/08
    With the problems being encountered by Windows users people are asking themselves if windows is a virus. In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the following.
    
    1. Viruses replicate quickly.
    Windows does this.
    
    2. Viruses
  - Trouble Solving
    01/23/08
    One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
    
    The technici
  - Computer Programmer
    01/23/08
    A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
    
    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beaut
  - Bill Gates Punishment
    01/22/08
    Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you&#
  - Computer Viruses
    01/22/08
    Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
    
    Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
    
    Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
    
    Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.