Computer Jokes Humor and Satire

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2008
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  - Better Computer Programmer
    02/29/08
    Jesus and Satan got into an argument over which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally God got tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a contest between them. They each had four hours to write the best program they could, and then God would decide the winner.
  - Gullibility Virus
    02/27/08
    WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE! Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
    WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question,
  - Computer Addict
    02/25/08
    Dear John,
    
    I am sending you this letter in a bogus software company envelope so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives two years ago.
    
    The children are d
  - Bill Gates Meets His Match
    02/23/08
    The following is a conversation overheard as Bill Gates was moving into his new house...
    
    Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
    
    Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?&q
  - Awkward Question
    02/21/08
    At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immedia
  - What's Most Important
    02/18/08
    Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself.
    
    Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecologi
  - Windows XP Error Messages
    02/16/08
    A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...
    
    • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
    
    • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
    
    • BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not
  - Three Days
    02/14/08
    George Bush, Vladimir Putin and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days.
    
    They were all allowed to return to their homes and b
  - Promises Promises
    02/13/08
    Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.
    The first woman said, "My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that."
    
    The second woman proclaimed, "My husband is a mechanic, he makes
  - Waiting
    02/12/08
    The checkout line at the hardware store was getting longer and longer as the clerk labored to get the new cash register to cooperate.
    
    At one point she wailed "Oh no, NOW what do I do ? It just rang up sixty-four thousand, five hundered seventy four dollars in sales tax on a ten-dolla
  - If Microsoft Ran The IRS
    02/10/08
    "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise).
    
    -- The IRS, as always,
  - World's Smartest Man
    02/08/08
    A pilot, Tiger Woods, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.
    
    Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minute
  - Anything You Want
    02/07/08
    The Sultan was unhappy as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then,when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.
    
    Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud
  - Navigation Technique
    02/04/08
    There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out.
    
    He began circling around looking for a landmark. F
  - Redneck Computer Terms
    02/03/08
    Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.
    
    Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern.
    
    Bug - The reason you is a giv'n for calling in sick.
    
    Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.
    
    Cache - Needed when you go
  - Life Before The Computer
    02/01/08
    An application was for employment
    A program was a TV show
    A cursor used profanity
    A keyboard was a piano!
    
    Memory was something that you lost with age
    A CD was a bank account!
    And if you had a broken disk,
    It would hurt when you found out!
    
    Compress
- January