In his day, Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game.

With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he slept 7 hours a night, he made $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums danced in his head.

If he went to see a movie, it cost him $9.50, but he made $18,550 while he was there.

If he decided to have a 5 minute egg, he would have made $618 while boiling it.

He made $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.

He'd made $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura SLX (about $90,000) it would have taken him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have had to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.

He'd probably payed around $200 for a nice round of golf, but was reimbursed around $30,000 during that round.

Assuming he put the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), he would have hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.

If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.

He would have made about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics.

He would have made about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.

While the common person was spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he would have pulled in about $5600.

In his last year, he made more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.

... However...

... If Jordan had saved 100% of his income for the next 250 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates had right then.

Game over. Geek wins.

Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaddicts Anonymous, we can help.

Yes, you--we're talking to you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Have you checked downstairs to see if your family still lives with you?

We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counselling through weekly (off-line) meetings designed to help you cope with your problem.

We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never "cured," you most certainly can recover.

We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do
you:

1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your computer?

2) Check e-mail more than five times a day?

3) Spend more time social networking than eating or sleeping?

4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?

5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company you'll never do business with anyway?

6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?

7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?

8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?

9) See smoke arising from your computer?

10) All of the above?

If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a
problem. Please call us at Internetaddicts Anonymous at:

1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE'SSAKE

We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem.

Call us today. That is, if you can power off to free up your phone line.

When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.

You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"

Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

You're amazed to find out spam is a food.

You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.

You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".

After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so colon-right parentheses!"

And the number one sign you are an computer geek:

1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"

Drug Dealers

Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
Have important Asian connections.
Strange jargon:
"Stick"
"Rock"
"Wrap"
"E"
"Stash"
"Drive-by"
"Hit (LSD)"
"Source"
"The Pigs"
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent product.
Often seen in the company of pimps, hustlers and low-lifes
When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
Product causes unhealthy addictions.
Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.

Software Developers

Refer to their clients as "users".
"Download a free trial version..."
Have important Asian connections.
Strange jargon: "SCSI"
"RTFM"
"Packet"
"C"
"Cache"
"CTRL ALT DEL"
"Hit (WWW)"
"Source-code"
"Microsoft"
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent products.
Often seen in the company of marketing people, venture capitalists and fund managers.
When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D...
Damn! DAMN!!!

You try to enter your password on the microwave.

You email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back, 'What's for dinner dad?'

Your daughter sets up a web site to sell Girl Scout Cookies.

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.